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Only a loving person — one who is already loving — can find the right partner.
This is my observation: if you are unhappy you will find somebody who is unhappy. Unhappy people are attracted towards unhappy people. And it is good, it is natural. It is good that the unhappy people are not attracted towards happy people; otherwise they would destroy their happiness. It is perfectly okay.
Only happy people are attracted towards happy people.
The same attracts the same. Intelligent people are attracted towards intelligent people; stupid people are attracted towards stupid people.
You meet people of the same plane. So the first thing to remember is: a relationship is bound to be bitter if it has grown out of unhappiness. First be happy, be joyful, be celebrating, and then you will find some other soul celebrating and there will be a meeting of two dancing souls and a great dance will arise out of it.
Don’t ask for a relationship out of loneliness, no. Then you are moving in a wrong direction. Then the other will be used as a means and the other will use you as a means. And nobody wants to be used as a means! Every single individual is an end unto himself. It is immoral to use anybody as a means.
First learn how to be alone. Meditation is a way of being alone.
If you can be happy when you are alone, you have learned the secret of being happy. Now you can be happy together. If you are happy, then you have something to share, to give. And when you give you get; it is not the other way. Then a need arises to love somebody.
Ordinarily the need is to be loved by somebody. It is a wrong need. It is a childish need; you are not mature. It is a child’s attitude.
A child is born. Of course, the child cannot love the mother; he does not know what love is and he does not know who is the mother and who is the father. He is totally helpless. His being is still to be integrated; he is not one piece; he is not together yet. He is just a possibility. The mother has to love, the father has to love, the family has to shower love on the child. Now he learns one thing: that everybody has to love him. He never learns that he has to love. Now the child will grow, and if he remains stuck with this attitude that everybody has to love him, he will suffer his whole life. His body has grown, but his mind has remained immature.
A mature person is one who comes to know the other need: that now I have to love somebody.
The need to be loved is childish, immature. The need to love is mature.
And when you are ready to love somebody, a beautiful relationship will arise; otherwise not.
“Is it possible for two people in a relationship to be bad for each other?” Yes, that’s what is happening all over the world. To be good is very difficult. You are not good even to yourself. How can you be good to somebody else?
You don’t even love yourself! How can you love somebody else? Love yourself, be good to yourself.
Your so-called religious saints have been teaching you never to love yourself, never to be good to yourself. Be hard on yourself! They have been teaching you be soft towards others and hard towards yourself. This is absurd.
I teach you that the first and foremost thing is to be loving towards yourself. Don’t be hard; be soft. Care about yourself. Learn how to forgive yourself — again and again and again — seven times, seventy-seven times, seven hundred seventy-seven times. Learn how to forgive yourself. Don’t be hard; don’t be antagonistic towards yourself. Then you will flower.
In that flowering you will attract some other flower. It is natural. Stones attract stones; flowers attract flowers. Then there is a relationship which has grace, which has beauty, which has a benediction in it. If you can find such a relationship, your relationship will grow into prayer;your love will become an ecstasy and through love you will know what the divine is.
OSHO – Ecstasy: The Forgotten Language
Copyright © 2010 Osho International Foundation
unhappy + unhappy = happy
-ve + -ve = +ve
Totally True : )
love is god gift
Like that saying “birds of a feather flock together”
The Law of Attraction is extremely powerful, especially when we are looking for a partner. I used to attract guys that “only wanted sex” and didn’t respect me and kept complaining about it. What I didn’t know back then was that this was the view I had of myself and the energy I was sending out thinking I wasn’t worth more. Today I am happily engaged with an amazing man and we have an honest and caring bond between us. All thanks to my inner work and meditation!
With Love, Ann-Sofie (http://smalltalkaboutbiglove.wordpress.com/)
Love of self is the excess of everything … love of self is the transformation of all things. If we reach that mature love for ourselves is that we have discovered the importance of our life and we can let our mind, our body and our soul dancing together …. so that we can offer the Other, with respect and freedom as we have learned to stop being victims, to love, to forgive us … we understand that the child in us, we always waited …. he needed to find other loving others to no longer be afraid of not being loved, but to love, to love others and love to see them love .. The child no longer seeks to what it belongs to him … he knows he is …. love that love does not belong to anyone, it does not get lost … but he lives … It is through our thoughts we create the world in which we live …. by our thoughts of love for ourselves that we can love. In one discovery we reach the maturity required to love with love, and children who sleep in all of us, do we expect more, he discovers at the same time that we all love the energy and the possibility that it has to raise ….
Love of self is the excess of everything … love of self is the transformation of all things. If we reach that mature love for ourselves is that we have discovered the importance of our life and we can let our spirit, our body and our soul dancing together …. so that we can offer the Other, with respect and freedom as we have learned to stop being victims, to love, to forgive us … we understand that the child in us, we always waited …. he needed to find other loving others to no longer be afraid of not being loved, but to love, to love others and love to see them love .. The child no longer seeks to what it belongs to him … he knows he Is …. love that love does not belong to anyone, it does not get lost … but he lives … It is through our thoughts we create the world in which we live …. by our thoughts of love for ourselves that we can love. In one discovery we reach the maturity required to love with love, and children who sleep in all of us, do we expect more, he discovers at the same time that we all love the energy and the possibility that it has to raise ….
so true i knw i have been thru dis feelin n rastic period…but its better to over come such situations in life n move on….
yes, it’ true!
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I find myself highly skeptical. In particular, I note that:
o I have seen little evidence for (un)happy-attracts-(un)happy—and what evidence there has been was typically an indirect issue. (Say that happier people tend to be more beautiful/pleasent, e.g. through smiling more, which makes them more likely to land someone beautiful/pleasent, who is more likely to be happy; while someone unhappy may have to make do with someone less beautiful/pleasent, irrespective of whom he actually is attracted to.)
o When I, myself, am happy, I tend not to be attracted to people at all (except in a purely sexual sense), and when I (in the past) went through periods of unhappiness this did not affect whom I was attracted to. (However, as above, to some degree, whom I considered a viable prospect.)
o It is not a given that an unhappy person will ruin the happiness of a happy partner—the opposite can also take place.
o Your characterisation of the need to love or be loved as mature or immature may be correct in a physical sense, but is dubious in a more abstract sense. (It could further be argued that someone who is both mature and happy would focus on making someone unhappy happy, instead of sharing happiness with someone who does not need it—which clashes with you original statements.)
Perhaps a case then of opposites attracting.
Wonderful theory, needed to read that article now,that I am going through a failed relationship. Very true.
Happiness and unhappiness are sides of the same coin, one has to know one to know the other. both are healthy and natural. so to characterize people as either one or the other is a gross simplification.
LIKES ATTRACT OPPOSITES DON’T…….THAT IS THE RULE……U CANT COME OUT SMILING AFTER WATCHING A TRAGIC MOVIE U WILL SIT SAD AND U WILL NEED AN ENERGY SHIFT TO CHANGE YOUR MOOD….HAPPY AND UNHAPPY PEOPLE DO COME TOGETHER BUT IF THEY DON’T SYNCHRONIZE THEY WILL FALL APART.
Wow your post is an eye opener. I haven’t been quite happy with few things in my life. I feel when you are faced with a challenge or a difficult task that you must accomplish and if you are able to do it with a smile it makes it a whole lot easier. Thanks.
It’s rEally …awsOme..to love & to be lovEd…
& of courSe!we’ll find the ultimatE HAppinesS.
according to mathematics -+- is +
++- is –
what osho said was correct. 100% correct
I am in love
I am in love